The Howling of a Wolf, July 1-15, 1988

Friday, July 1st, 1988

Month of Jesus' Sacred Heart

The first Friday and the first day of July! Doesn't seem like it, but, it is! What's wrong with me? I become so anxious about wanting to do better for us. (for Joseph); yet, I become materialistic and start to become part of the world that I don't want to be! We don't take it with us. Mark and myself are looking through the Thrifty Nickel trying to find another place to live. We have no furniture; we'd have to rent and have a furnished place. Most spots don't want kids. That's a hit to my mind. We need a two bedroom place now because Joseph is busy growing and needing his own bed. We all sleep in the same bed and sometimes Da Da finds himself out on the floor and he sleeps on the couch then. Another blow. I concern myself on a backyard where Joseph needs to have room to run and play. Another worry. I begin to smolder... Mark seems to sigh unendingly as I suggest this and that. Tempers become short and I blow up... around and around we go. I haven't thrown things in a long time, but I did today. I grabbed Joseph's toy and slung it at Mark. He had a glass of water and it went all over the floor. Words spurted out about, "You don't care" or "You're a hot head," etc., etc. It was terrible. I was very angry with Mark and visa versa. We ended up going in different directions.

I went to the East in the car and Mark, the West on his bike. I remember looking in the rear view mirror and seeing Mark waving to me. Despite our fussing, Mark still loved me. After awhile, we got back home after trying to cash a check to get milk. I got to thinking about Mark and how he tried to be patient with me through all this and he didn’t complain. Most of all we were grateful to God for the blessing of our son Joseph.

I apologized to God for my anger and unkind ways. I thought deeply about how I hurt God, Jesus and Mary the Blessed Virgin. I hurt Mark too! Joseph is in this and all of us get hurt when I don't try to control myself and let Jesus help me. You see, I still have my moments. I am a sinner. I don't pretend to be perfect. I ask the Blessed Virgin to help me be a better wife and mother. I need her help, but I know I have to try harder too. I'm going to confession tomorrow. I hope Msgr. doesn't think I'm not trying to be better. I want to be good, but I've always been with a temper and impatience. "God, please have mercy on me, a sinner. Please God, know that I do appreciate all that I have." (Mark and Joseph, our son) My blessings are many, and I thank you for them all.

After Mark got home, we apologized to each other. We used to never do this. Now, it has become easier.

We got mail today from the Golec's and Mr. Irlbeck. Joseph received Crayolas and a coloring book from Jason and some information from the Golec's. We are looking forward to their future return. They mentioned July. Anita Golec mentioned more newspaper people will be showing up. (Some other folks too.) We will say the Rosary tonight in honor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. (First Friday)

Saturday, July 2nd, 1988

First Saturday Devotion to the Mother of God

We said the Medjugorje Rosary, reflecting on Mary today. I received a letter from my brother by evening time late. It was an envelope with a thick letter and booklet that said, "What Christians Believe." My brother is a minister of another faith. My brother left the Catholic faith quite awhile back, but I can't pinpoint the date. My brother is very much opposed to what is going on at St. John Neumann Church. I had sent him all the literature, messages and testimonials, which he destroyed, (Including a Medjugorje paper.)

He mentioned in his letter that we were involved in a "Marian Occult." My brother thought I based my faith on something stronger than the "Smell of Roses." Yes, my brother was quite the judge and jury. He spared me no thrashings nor mercy. At one time I would have been greatly angered at all of this and hurt deeply. I would have rushed him an angry letter or phone call that would have been ugly and unkind. Instead, I felt sorry for my young brother and had a great love for him. I cried over this attack from my sibling brother, but I also felt compassion towards him. The tears were also from the Blessed Virgin Mary. I could sense this.

With all he threw at me, little knowledge did I have of a lot of the things he challenged, but it is my faith, my hope, and trust in the Lord God Who is the Judge and Jury of all mankind that counts. His Beloved Son Jesus has been given the rightful place to be our Defender and Redeemer. I believe in the Lord Jesus and I know He is our only way to salvation and everlasting life.

I also know Jesus has a Mother, Our Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of Heaven, who loved Jesus and cared for Him deeply. She raised Jesus and watched Him grow up into a young man and She also witnessed to Jesus' tortures and sufferings and death. She mourned deeply and grieved for Her Beloved Son Jesus. (She died in Her Heart with Jesus!) Naturally, there would be a deep bond between Mary and Jesus. Mary, the Blessed Virgin was truly special and given a special blessing from God Who allowed Her to give birth to God's Holy and Divine Son, Jesus Christ; a holy woman who pleased God greatly. Mary's concerns are for all the people of the world. She is an Advocate and Intercessor with Jesus Christ. Her concerns are linked with Jesus' concerns: To save souls and to bring them to everlasting life through Jesus. This is my faith and I'm not here to convince anyone. I am here to give testimonial to the help and intercessions received from Mary - Ever Virgin. She personally entered into our lives March 26th, 1988 and She has been here ever since. Praise God for it!

Please Note: This also marks my mother and father's wedding anniversary.

I give thanks to Mary for Her coming and blessings. She has a dire message for all mankind: To repent/convert and to make ready for Jesus, Her Son. Only through Him will we be happy and find life everlasting. It is because of Mary's love and concern that She has come to warn all of us! The whole human race!

Sunday, July 3rd, 1988

I rose this morning early to get ready for church. Mark went to get the Dallas Morning paper, for the Saint John Neumann Church article would be in it. We had no trouble locating the article. We got off to church a bit late, but got there.

After Mass we visited with parish members and I gave Msgr. Joe James my brother's letter. We went home and Mark made us spaghetti. Mark went to work after eating. Later this evening we went to the prayer meeting at church. (Joseph and I) We had discussed the Messages and Rosary. After services I had a talk with Msgr. James over the messages from me. (They bother me and I wanted to stop doing them) Msgr. Joe James told me I wouldn't have peace with myself. He gave an example of one of the prophets in the Bible (Jeremiah) who spoke to God of how God had duped him and he allowed himself to be so. He cursed his day of birth because of being a prophet of God. (Jeremiah's Interior Crisis) Jeremiah 20:7-18. So, I can somehow relate to this, but I don't want to curse God. I want to personally thank Him, the Lord God for using me. After talking and confession, I felt better and we left. Arrived home and Mark was there and we shared our day.

Monday, July 4th, 1988

Independence Day

"Happy Fourth of July." Joseph and I went to the park for awhile today. He enjoyed riding his tricycle and watching the helicopter at the hospital. We could see the moon and I looked at it and thought of God's Mighty Hand having created it, and the Blessed Virgin standing on its crescent. I praised God and gave Him thanks for such a beautiful and blessed day. I had brought with me several abortion cards which rebelled against this crime, against life and against God. I taped these cards on all the rest-spots where benches were, the bathrooms, and bus stops.

After being there awhile, we went home for Joseph to get some lunch where he lay down for a nap. I said the Rosary (Joyful Mysteries), and meditated on Jesus and Mary.) During this time I also felt a sense of sorrow. Something I feel, is coming about, that will involve this whole nation. I cried over this, but I felt that God's Will shall be done. We have all greatly offended God and our personal sufferings will be in itself a chastisement. We went to the 6:15 Mass and received Communion.

After this, the Rosary was said. During the meditations a great peace and tiredness came over all of us. Mike Slate sat down; Mary Constancio also seemed affected by it. I became tired and almost felt dizzy and fell over. It was like this heaviness was sent down on all who were gathered, like God was giving us a dose of peace and rest. In His message, He told us to prepare ourselves because much work was at hand. Many people would be coming near and far to our parish in search of peace and comfort. (Refuge from the jaws of the lion.)

I was given a prophetic vision "in mind" that a war was soon to be in our midst. I am not sound on this, but the sense of it seemed very real. Mike Slate also mentioned how he had this "feeling" along with many other messages too confusing to write them down. Altogether though, our messages continue to urge continual meditations of peace, love and caring for one another.

Monday, July 4th, 1988

Monday of the Fourteenth Week in Ordinary Time

St. Elizabeth of Portugal

This is the Monday Message I received from God Almighty:

Your heavenly Father speaks unto ye: My beloved, you shall still and quiet yourselves...as that of a child which has been weaned in its mother's lap. Your comfort is in the Lord your God who made heaven and earth. Your joy is His Divine presence in all your surroundings...beyond all understanding. Though many forget Me, those who remain faithful shall find peace and comfort.

Yea, though thorns are at the north, south, west, and east, you, My beloved, shall be like a flower in the thistles. Yea, though many may cry out, I heareth but My Ears shall remain deaf unto them. Yea, though many shall thirst, their founts shall be dry and their lands remaineth parched. Thou shall not thirst here. Thy lands shall be quenched and your fruits be many. As that of long ago, My beloved, thou hast been the first fruits and thou hast remained true unto the Lord your God.

(During the Sorrowful Mystery, Jesus in the Garden; "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.") I sayeth unto thee, My brethren, thou knoweth not the day nor hour. I give warning to all, be on your guard. It is like that of the master who takes leave, leaving in charge the servants. They knoweth not of their master's return. It may be of that in the early morn, when the cock crows, or in the dark of night. So, I sayeth unto ye, be on guard!

As that of the pulley that has fallen into the well, the bowl that has broken...so it shall be that thou shall return unto the dust from which thou hast cometh. For the Lord your God is the master and Divine Creator of all!

If thou love thy son you shall bend him to the bow and make straight his ways...thrashings unto his sides that he may learn right from wrong. Yea, so be it of thee...the Lord your God thrashes. The tree that bears not the fruit of goodness shall be cast into the fires of eternal hell.

(During the Sorrowful Mystery, Jesus Carries the Cross) How I, the Lord your God, love thee, My beloved children...sending forth My only begotten Son, Jesus, to take away the sins of the world!

Yea, thy Savior shall come in the east of glory in pillars of clouds. The earth shall tremble and the trumpets of heaven shall blast out the coming glory! Jesus your Life. Jesus your Love. Jesus your Hope. Jesus My beloved Son.

So, the Lord your God sayeth unto ye, pray. Pray. For thy afflictions are at hand. Hordes shall flock to ye here. Far and near they shall come to escape the jaws of the lion. Prepare yourselves, for I, the Lord your God, bringeth unto ye many peoples of many tongues and customs. Be the Good Samaritan, as My Son taught in days past. Comfort and console. Give, and thou shall receive back one hundredfold.

I giveth unto ye your sign. Waiteth on this, for it shall illuminate the skies. Be at peace, for thou art My chosen and beloved. Weep for those who weepeth and who shall weep. Give hope unto those who have none, as did My Son, Jesus. Be like that of Jesus, My beloved Son. For Jesus is and shall always be the everlasting Light of the World...and life for all mankind.

His Divine Will shall be done. Amen!

Theresa Fleischman, messenger

After the Rosary, there were some blessing of holy articles, prayers for healing, etc. We dropped by on the Rockymore family to give a blessing and visit some. We left after fifteen to thirty minutes and watched some fireworks. We really enjoyed them; especially our son, Joseph! Thank You, Lord God for the freedom that we all enjoy.

Tuesday, July 5th, 1988

Morning prayers are said. I don't remember the day too well. This day seemed more of a rest. Prayers.

Wednesday, July 6th, 1988

At 10:45 A.M. I received a message from the Blessed Virgin Mary. I was reading about Fatima from a small booklet I received in the mail. I had not ordered this, but it was sent from a friend along with other pamphlets, prayers. etc. The message was strong and it began to make me cry and then think deeply about the world and all its needs especially to return to God Almighty. (A special need for our own country, America) I was then given the message that this prayer should be recited each day three times in preparation for the 13th of July and the event of the Assumption coming up soon. This is the prayer: THE PARDON PRAYER "My God, I believe, I adore, I trust, and I love Thee. I ask pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not trust and do not love Thee. Amen."

Please Note: This is the very same prayer that was given to the three little shepherd children of Fatima in 1916 from an angel known as the Guardian of Portugal. As I received this message, I questioned it skeptically wondering if it was coming from my own wishes or my own imagination. The feelings I had became stronger and a sense of urgency came over me as well.

I ask the question, "Where is this message coming from and to whom do the prayers go to?" I already knew the message was from Mary and the urgent prayer was to God Almighty, but then my mind spoke to me as if being directed and my eyes rested on a picture of an angel. (I remember receiving the picture several weeks ago, but did not order the material it had come with) The answer then came: "To the Guardian Angel of the United States of America!" I was dumbfounded at first, for I did not realize we had a Guardian Angel for our country, the U.S.A. I realized then that this was a message and a dire one that was to immediately be taken seriously. I hurried and wrote down the messages and the time I received it. (10:45 A.M.) Here is the prayer to the Guardian Angel:

Please Note: Here is the appearance of our Nation's Angel. He is ashamed; shoulders bent over, a chin not upheld in being "Proud". He was not. The hair seemed brown in color, but his face was shallow without beams of light or joy. His wings were dragging because he grieved for our sins. He must make an appeal for our Nation, begging for an audience before God and His holiest of angels (Michael the Archangel), for pardon and mercy.

Many souls do not fast, many do not bring praise to the Heavenly Father or to the Savior Jesus. Many souls do not grieve or repent. They are wrapped up in themselves and the world and its pleasures. Many gifts such as fasting, repentance, love, forgiveness, unselfishness etc. are not in the arms of the Angel of the United States of America. Therefore, He comes empty handed before God. This prayer is supposed to be recited each morning (appointed said time) until the 13th of July in preparation for the Queen of Heaven and of Earth.

The Group Members are: Mike Slate, Mary Constancio, Ms. Wynn, Msgr. Joe James, and Theresa . After receiving all of this I was very grateful and was anxious to share this message with the group when our meeting would take place at 1:30 P.M. at Ms.Wynn’s place. I shared with Mark and we both were happy and our day was light and full of joy for the rest of the day. Mark, Joseph, and myself. I did relate the messages and the time decided on was 7:00 A.M. each morning until our most awaited time on July 13th, 1988. As for the rest of this meeting in detail, it is closed. (On tapes) They are kept concealed by the Group Members, Msgr. Joe James, Ms. Wynn (Pastoral Assistant), Mike Slate, Mary Constancio, and Theresa. Our family said the Rosary this night.

Thursday, July 7th, 1988

I arose this morning before 7:00 A.M. to prepare for prayers. At 7:00 A.M. I said the prayers given to me and recited the "My God I believe, I adore, I hope, I love you..." three times. After this, I sang a song of praise to God. I thought about the coming events and wondered if I would be blessed to see the beautiful Virgin Mary at the Fountain. I prayed and hoped so! I have only seen the Blessed Virgin in the visions given to me in my mind. I don't think I could have done it on my own. I hope my earthly eyes will be opened and will see Her as one sees other people... face to face.

It is all God's Will and I will not question it. I know I have been blessed many times already and I don't want to be selfish or ungrateful. I am not worthy of all that has happened. I hope and pray God will be merciful to me, a sinner, and I continue to hope in His Divine Son, Jesus Christ and the motherly aid and loving help of His Blessed Mother Mary Ever Virgin.

I received the little extracts in the mail today of the "Flame of Love" of the Virgin Mary. "Flame of Love" extracts address to receive this is: Lenke Fogassy, 471 W. 24th Street, San Bernardino, CA 92405. I wrote this woman many times requesting for these extracts in different languages.

Mark got a small job and did yard work next door. He was paid seven dollars and we thank God for it! We know He is mindful of all our needs and we are very grateful for His help and loving mercy! We used this money to get gas so we could go to the Chapel at Saint John Neumann Church and deliver these booklets for the Blessed Virgin Mary. We also devoted about thirty minutes there in prayer reciting the Medjugorje Rosary and lighting a candle. We then left and we felt very good.

We visited a few minutes with Ms. Wynn. We then went home. We had a wonderful day and this night we also said a Family Rosary together. "Praise You Lord Jesus Christ. Thank You dear God! We love you dear Virgin Mary."

Friday, July 8th, 1988

I am fasting this day. I arose at 7:00 A.M. to say requested prayers to the Angel of the United States of America, and also the "My God, I believe, I adore, I hope and I love Thee." (three times) I began working on my diary at 8:20 A.M. but earlier received a message that I am to write a personal letter to Msgr. Joe James about the approaching event of the Feast of the Assumption in August. Baby just came in and said, "Good Morning." Yes, it is a good morning and I am so happy to have a healthy, happy child, and God's love! Thank You Lord God so very much! I will write later on this God-given, and blessed day. 9:10 A.M.

We took Mark to work and I fed Joseph. I came home and decided to fix a scratch cake. Mom and dad showed up today! How nice. We always enjoy seeing them. I knew they must have gotten a lot of rain because Pa Pete seldom comes to town. He works in the fields and drives a tractor. (Our son Joseph's passion) They settled themselves down after some water. We talked about several things. Mom had mentioned she had written my brother a long letter. I began to inform her and dad on several of the experiences taking place at our church; also the newspaper clipping in the Dallas Times about Saint John Neumann Church. I shared with them the most recent messages and also informed them that if something should happen to me, I wanted my diary to be published. After about an hour, they had to go. Mom had a piece of cake along with Joseph and Dad passed on it.

I am confused about their personal feelings about all the events going on in my life and others'. They did make a point at writing the time down for Mass on the Feast of the Assumption. I personally believe that there is a sense of belief there for them. I am personally very concerned about the crowds that will be there; the crushing amount of people. I expressed to them my fear. I love my parents very much and I have great concern for them.

They gave a gift to us of one hundred dollars. We were so grateful. This money was used to get food because we were on our last rations and scraping the bottom. I don't know what we would have done without their help. (We did not ask for this money), but God must have touched their hearts.

Thank you so much mom and dad. (Thank You dear God) I just wish we could get out of this personal jam we are in. Financial concerns are always a part of our lives. We continue to pray though and ask God to bless Mark with a better-paying job so we can get ahead and not have to lean on others' continual support. After goodbyes and kisses, they left for home. We made plans to go out Wednesday July 14th, 1988. Joseph and I went to purchase food after he laid down for his afternoon nap. While he slept, I said the Rosary.

Emotions overcame me and I cried a great deal reflecting on Jesus and His Mother Mary. I thought about how Jesus and His Mother suffered. I could not explain why I felt so sad, but I know how much I love Joseph and could easily place Joseph in place of Jesus' sufferings, and could clearly understand why Mary hurt so much. (She cried more than any mother on this earth with all Her Sorrows) I felt so sad for Mary and so very sad for Jesus Christ. Why did He have to be so cruelly dealt with? Yet, Jesus wanted to do this. He could have refused, but He chose to suffer for us all because He loved all mankind so very much! Praise be Jesus Christ's Holy Name. Honor and glory to Him forever!

After Rosary and the Litanies of Jesus' Blood, Litany of the Virgin Mary and Litany of Saint Joseph, I blew out the candle and put things away. It was then Joseph woke up and we went to the store for food. Came home and told Mark about the money mom and Pa Pete gave us. We were so grateful. Joseph ate to his little heart's content. We went to Chapel after getting roses for Mary, said a short prayer; and went home. We said a Medjugorje Rosary at home then.

Please Note: It was brought up this day that Saint John Neumann Church was on TV about the Blessed Virgin's Messages. (I had known nothing about the TV information, about Saint John Neumann, or the messengers.) Mark found out about it through his friends at work.

Saturday, July 9th, 1988

A rainy, cloudy day. This is the Bishop's birthday today! (Michael J Sheehan) I was up at 7:00 A.M. this morning to recite given prayers in unity with the other messengers. Although we may be apart, we are in harmony in the Spirit. I went to confession today.

Mom and dad dropped by. What a wonderful surprise! They leave as soon as they come by and say they will drop by later tonight. Joseph is very tired. He had a long day, so I have laid him down for a nap so I can catch up on my diary.

Please Note: Today on the table stand at our Church, there was another copy of newspapers of the Lubbock Avalanche Journal reporting on Saint John Neumann church and the messages of the Virgin Mary.

I did not know about it until I saw the articles at the Church. I was personally surprised. Mom and dad dropped by around 7:30 P.M. or a little after. We visited for awhile. We talked about what was going on with the messages, etc. I was really surprised how they seemed to relate to all I shared with them. I wasn't sure they would accept what I told them. I really feel they have accepted all of this. It has taken some time. (Just like it has with me.) We had a good visit. They left for home and they seemed happy and at peace. We continue to pray for Nanny and Pa Pete (our love pet names) I always pray for my mom and dad because I think the world of them and I love them so much. Thank You dear God for them both.

Please Note: I took a picture of the East sky today because the Lord told me to. I did. I took two pictures. They developed out and it showed the Risen Lord Jesus on His Cross! Alleluia! Thank You, God! I said Rosary late this night and also a personal prayer.

Please Note: Since the events of Saint John Neumann, August 15th, 1988, these photos taken have been placed on file with the Commission.(I have not seen these pictures since)

Sunday, July 10th, 1988

I was up at 7:00 A.M. to say the prayers requested from all of us (messengers) and sang praise songs to the Heavenly Father. It was raining this morning and I give God "Thanks" for all the beautiful rain. Went to church at Christ the King Cathedral for 9:30 A.M. Mass to help save gas so we can make Rosary for tomorrow (Monday). I miss Saint John Neumann so much. It is not the same here. Saint John Neumann Church is home to me!

The priest mentioned many articles about the newspapers: Crime, floods, drought, murder, rape, the problems in the political scene, etc. He also had slightly mentioned the "Messengers". I suppose he was referring to Saint John Neumann Church. I didn't pick up any sarcasm, but he said not to worry about these things, but to concentrate on how we treat our fellow men. (Like Christ would want from all of us) He's right, but I really don't think they realize what is happening in their very midst. Miracles are under their noses and before their very eyes; yet they choose to remain blind and deaf. "God have mercy on all of us for not taking seriously your warnings and pleas."

Monday, July 11th, 1988

Monday of the Fifteenth Week in Ordinary Time

Feast of Saint Benedict

Message:

The Lord your God sayeth unto ye: I, the creator of all life great and small, looked upon ye in your lowliness. I Spied you in your nakedness. There in your blood I, the Lord your God, found thee. I raised you from your lowliness and lifted you up. The Lord your God hast taken ye into His Divine Care and nurtured your every need.

You were fed of the finest wheat, flour and oils. Milk and honey was your food. The poor He has given every good thing, the rich He has sent away. I adorned you in silk and satin. And there I placed upon you bracelets of gold and necklaces to adorn your neck. A ring in your nose I gave to thee. And a diadem for your head.

Yea, thou were beautiful to behold and all others looked upon thee with love and admiration.

Oh, though in all your blessings, thou hast forgotten the Lord your God!

Behold, thou hast looked upon your very self with love and begun to seek your comforts and love elsewhere...not remembering from whence thou hast cometh. Your oils, wheat and flour you have given to your lovers that thou hast lusted after...making thrones of your silk and satin for others, not reflecting on which they come. Thou hast become the harlot. Your lusts burn forth with no control and with no regrets of your sins.

I sayeth unto ye, repent of thy offenses against the Lord your God, for thy punishments shall be just. The Lord your God takes no pleasure in punishments upon the wicked, but thy God takes passion upon those who are sorrowful for their sins.

And unto thee, My shepherds: Thou hast fed off My chosen. Thou has mislead them and scattered them about to foreign lands. Leaving them to hunger and be abandoned to their foes. I sayeth unto ye, behold, the Lord God shall go forth and gather His lost sheep. He shall feed the hungry and bind up the crippled and nurse the sick back to health. But the fattened lambs and goats I, the Lord your God, shall drive away.

I do these things for My Name's Sake. For the Lord your God is Just and there be no faults within Him. I sayeth unto ye, thou knowest not the day nor hour. The only Son of God, Jesus, knowest not the hour. Repent and make ready your souls, your very hearts.

Woe unto ye, those who offend the Lord God. Coveting another man's wife! "Coveting of thy flesh."

I shall send forth the pestilences of My Jealous Wrath. It shall burn till it shall be appeased. There shall be drought. There shall be famine. There shall be war.

Prepare thyselves for the chastisements. Thou hast come unto this lowly church for a sign. Behold! It is here! Do you have eyes that do not see? Ears that do not hear? The Lord your God will give unto thee a caring heart. There will be once more from My beloved the newness which was to be of the beginning.

Thou shall not have false gods before Me; for I alone Am the Lord your God, creator of heaven and earth; of all that is seen and unseen.

Thou shall not take the Lord your God's name in vain; for it is holy.

Thou shall keep holy the Lord's Day; for unto this day is the day of prayer and penitence and nursing of the sick and downtrodden.

Thou shall honor thy mother and thy father; which hast been set over ye.

Thou shall not lie. Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not steal. Thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor husband; nor defile the body; for it is a temple of the Lord God.

Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's goods for which the Lord your God endowed and hast blessed upon each one rightfully.

The greatest of these is that of love thy neighbor as thyself. As it was with My beloved Son, Jesus: He gave His Life for thee that thou may have eternal life.

For it was said long ago and still stands firm to this day...those who are first shall be last and the last shall be first. But I, the Lord your God; in your lowliness I shall lift ye up again. I shall put between My people a covenant which shall be sweet to My Nostrils. I shall anoint ye and make thee Mine again. And I will be your God and ye My people.

In your goodness given, your shame shall be upon thee and thou shall behold the mercy of the Lord your God. Sing unto the Lord your God all you peoples of every race and tongue! Praise Him for He is good and His Mercy endureth unto all generations!

Jesus: My beloved, peace I leave you; My peace I give you. Blessed are they who seeketh; for they shall find. Blessed are the lowly; for they shall be lifted up. Blessed are the poor; for they shall inherit the goodness of peace. Blessed are the sorrowful; for they shall be consoled. Blessed are the single-hearted; for they shall see God. Blessed are ye who are persecuted for My Name's Sake; for thou shall be in glory with the reign of your Savior, Jesus Christ.

Bring forth your blind; your deaf, mute, crippled; your sick and lame; your downtrodden. Rejoice, for miracles will be at hand unto all ye who gather forth in the Glory of Jesus Christ and to the Heavenly Father.

Mother of God; pray for us. Mother of Christ; pray for us. Queen of Mercy; pray for us. Refuge of sinners; pray for us. Help of the sick; pray for us. Morningstar; pray for us. Mystical rose; pray for us. Queen of the most Holy Rosary; pray for us. Queen of Peace; pray for us.

Theresa Fleischman, messenger

Tuesday, July 12th, 1988

Say 7:00 A.M. prayer. I spend most of this day in anticipation of the meeting with the Blessed Virgin on the 13th of July. I did house cleaning this day and said the Rosary in preparation for the 13th. Late this evening, our family went on a mission in the distribution of over one thousand Medjugorje papers to East of Lubbock and the countryside. (Also mailed out many personal invitations for the Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin for the approaching August 15th.

We dropped by our son's Godparents' home (Sokoras) for a short visit. They were very cool toward us. It made us feel so uncomfortable. I felt very bad over this; yet I guess we can understand it too. People we have known so long in our lives are drawing away from us, and I really don't know why. I think they must think we are going NUTS. They don't know how to react around us. Some of our own family members have expressed fear toward us as well as a coolness too. We are only people. We are still sinners and make mistakes like anyone else. We are also trying to do what the Lord is asking of us. "Please be with us dear God in all our efforts and above all, please guide us in Your Divine Son's Most Holy Light of Love."

We got home late after hitting areas where a lot of the public goes, and then we went home. Got to bed very exhausted, but felt good inside. We also said our prayers.

P.S. Couldn't sleep much for being so excited about the approaching day.

Wednesday, July 13th, 1988

Before 5:00 A.M.

THIS IS THE MORNING!! I was up quickly and began rushing about. After I got dressed and got my hair fixed, I was on my way out. I kissed my family goodbye. I had a nervous feeling in my stomach and I was very excited and yet a little scared too. I got Mark's Rosary out of my purse and started saying it while driving to the church. When I got there, it was shortly after Mike Slate's arrival. We met in the Chapel.

Please Note: Mike Slate was kneeling before the Tabernacle in deep prayers and crying.

I did not question it, but said a personal prayer for him and all of us in this most precious event that was soon to take place. It seemed like forever! I kept finding myself becoming more eager and wondering where everyone was. THEY WERE NOT PROMPT! Finally, Mary Constancio arrived and then after this, Msgr. Joe James and Ms. Wynn.

I felt already things were becoming uneasy.(I said in my mind they are late!) We began prayer in harmony dedicating the early morn to God and then the Angelic Prayer. It was during this time I personally heard a VOICE say "Come to the Fountain," for it was time. I questioned this VOICE and waited to make sure. Again it came with a more commanding tone.

I knew we then needed to go; yet I hesitated because of Msgr. James being in a prayer that seemed to never end. There, out at the fountain our eyes would have seen Mary, the Mother of God! I wanted to see Her so much. Because of this respect and "courtesy thing" drilled into me since I was so very young, I didn't want to interrupt Msgr. Joe James' prayers. How stupid of me!

I kept looking at Mike and he at me. We knew we should have gotten up and gone out, but we didn't. Why? Because we were scared of Msgr. James becoming angry ? Oh, how foolish of me. Why didn't I get up and flee out of the Chapel to see the Mother of God! She was calling and we didn't come. We were commanded to come and we failed to heed the words!

I did not place God above Msgr. Joe James. I was very wrong and disobedient in this. I later found out that Mike Slate received the same message and he also failed in obedience. Mary Constancio (failed because she was late along with Msgr. James and Ms. Wynn) and failed in her obedience by not praying the prayers as was asked of all of us in preparation of the 13th of July. All in all we were all disobedient to the wishes and commands of God.

After our long prayers, we recited a fifteen decade Rosary around the Fountain. It was at this time Msgr. James felt he was told in his heart by Mary, the Blessed Virgin that we were not to feel down hearted because we blessed the Fountain and the surrounding area with our prayers. After this, we all walked the Church grounds using Holy Water. The procession was in this order: Msgr. Joe James (Leader), Ms. Wynn (Pastoral Assistant), Mary Constancio, Mike Slate, and then, Theresa. We are all praying and following in this procession. This is taking place when it is still dark and right before sunrise.

There was a great feeling of love that overcame us; yet there too was a sense of sadness in not seeing the Blessed Virgin Mary as we had all hoped for. It was after this (A beautiful morn just the same), that our Group met together in the hospitality room in the Church.

It is here I shall introduce to you, Ann Hernandez. Ann has been a parish member of Saint John Neumann for many years. Ann is a mother, housewife, and a devout woman of God with a devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Ann Hernandez also became a member of our prayer group this day July 13th, 1988, for the Blessed Virgin told her to come and expressed Her personal pleasure in Ann.

It was in this group gathering that we all learned a vital lesson; OBEDIENCE. A must it is; for the Lord God desires it from each of us, but He expressed it especially to me. (Theresa) I personally blamed myself at first but I felt we all failed in the lesson of obedience that day. We were all responsible. This was truly a heartbreaking day for all of us.

Please Note: It is here I will insert this message because this happened July 13th, 1988 around 7:30-8:00 A.M. on the grounds of Saint John Neumann Church.

THE DEAD TREE MESSAGE

Ann Hernandez was brought in to frighten me and to make me believe that she would take my place as a messenger. (This was a test from the Lord although at the time I did not know this) I, (Theresa) realized God was angered because I continued to question and doubt often. (I was my worse critic) God was growing weary with me and tired of my questioning Him and doubting. Ann had come to the hospitality room where we were all at a table seated.

Mike Slate at my right hand (I hold his hand), Mary Constancio at my left, then Ms. Wynn, Msgr. Joe James, and then Ann Hernandez came in between Msgr. Joe James and Mike Slate. Ann said that the Lord urged her to come. Her sincerity was beautiful. She was crying and came in obedience. She often prayed for her mother and her children.

The Message then came from God the Father of our disobedience and failing to believe and obey Him. He spoke of why do we continue to be like those of long ago who questioned and doubted. (Example - MOSES) God told me to call out like the Lion the way that I had been doing. It was given to me for such as this purpose to "WARN GOD'S PEOPLE."

God then tested me and said He wanted me to leave the group. I was shocked. I remember then Mary Constancio did not go on especially but Mike Slate begged God to change His Mind. Mike said, "NO, dear Lord, please, NO." All there started praying in tongues and begging God to forgive me. They then began to admit their own disobedience. They too were at fault. The anger felt from God was very intense. I could feel the Holy Breath of God on the back of my neck and we all sensed God’s Anger greatly. I remember Ann Hernandez crying and also praying to forgive. From the intensity of God's Anger, Ann Hernandez fainted onto the floor!

Please Note: I felt in my Spirit that Ann had been sent to make me realize once and for all that God was using me to speak to all the people in this world. His Wrath struck out at me, was felt by Ann's "Sensitivity" in Spirit.

It frightened us more and I prayed, "Please God don't be angry." "Don't' strike at Ann. She did nothing against thee." "Please forgive me." I told God I would try to do better, but not to let His Wrath fall upon those around me because of my foolishness. We prayed and prayed. God did give His Consent to allow me to stay as His "Prophet Messenger", but with strong warning not to doubt any longer or disobey. OBEY and LISTEN.

God spoke then of the Church grounds. They were HOLY. God spoke of a "TREE" which would die, but it was not to be pulled up. This "TREE" was to be decorated on special occasions and that it was very HOLY and BLESSED. "If any man do harm upon this 'TREE' great punishment would come upon them." It would be a sign to the whole world that God visited man!

THE MESSAGE: "Though the 'TREE' look dead, it is not, it is alive down deep in its roots." Later we found out through Msgr. Joe James’ discernment and prayers it was the Saint John Neumann Church and its grounds God was referring to!

Our punishment was to fast and do penance the rest of the day. We all did. Ann Hernandez awoke (She was OK) but shaken. It was from this day on that Ann Hernandez joined us in our Group Meetings.

This day I spent in a state of disbelief. I felt so empty and disappointed in myself. I spent most of this day in deep thoughts and reflections. Of all the Divine Words of Wisdom said, I spent the day praying and asking for forgiveness. I also was irritable and cranky and found myself sleeping a great deal. I went out to the farm this evening. I was very tired and drained. I fasted this whole day and tried to pray more, but fell asleep with Joseph.

Thursday, July 14th, 1988

I was up early to visit some with my dad before he left for work in the fields. I shared with him many of the miracles taking place. I also shared with him the photo of Jesus I took in the clouds. He smiled with a glow of great joy and pleasure in all these special things. He also expressed how much it seemed like an unreal situation. Yet, he said he believed! I was happy to hear this from his lips. I watched him make his sandwiches and pour his coffee in his mug. We embraced with great love toward each other. I love my dad very much. He went to look in on his first grandson, Joseph Earl Peter and came back with a smile on his face. He left with loving goodbyes and went out the front door. "Thank You God", for my earthly father, Pa Pete.

I went out to the fields East of the house and sat down. The early morn was very cool. I sat down facing the East for I felt the Lord God told me to come out and pray to Him and sing to Him. I did. I sang many songs of praise and I also poured dirt over my head, for I wanted God to know I am only dirt, and dirt I will return to. He can lift me up or bring me down in His Divine choosings. After my prayers, I went to the house. The rest of this day was spent in company with my mom, Mark and Joseph in play. In the evening, I said the Rosary. We then went home later on (Lubbock), and after getting settled, again a Rosary was said, a Medjugorje Rosary.

Friday, July 15th, 1988

A Rosary is said.

Please continue reading on the next page, "Howling Wolf, July 16 1988"